‘I felt immense shame’: one man’s experience of a female stalker

Tom, whose experience reflects that portrayed in Baby Reindeer, talks about how things developed, its affect on him and the police response

Not long after he embarked on an on/off dalliance with a former colleague, Tom began feeling uneasy about her behaviour. Heended things – but that only made matters worse.

Lies and gaslighting turned into his ex turning up randomly at places where he hung out and “appearing seemingly everywhere I went”, he said. “That was incredibly hard to deal with. I felt hounded, and I had no idea what to do.”