1 week ago
25
Eric Hovde is a deeply patriotic Republican who desperately loves the U.S., and he’s running for Senate. How do we know he loves the U.S.? Because he’s a Californian running in Wisconsin, which means he loves the U.S. at least twice as much you unwashed single-staters. And he regularly flies over a big chunk of America when he’s not counting his money at his bank in Utah, so there’s that too.
He also likes to tell everyone how patriotic he is. In fact, he’s outraged—outraged!—that anyone would dare disparage the Pledge of Allegiance, whose recitation has long been a compulsory exercise for schoolchildren who don’t know what a republic is and dimly wonder why we should give two shits about an invisible one.
But Hovde, who’s running as a member of a party that pledges allegiance to an (alleged!) documents-stealing wad of id, is angry that anyone would ever sully these sacred stanzas, which as far as his MAGA-fried supporters know came down from Mount Sinai in the glove compartment of Moses’ Escalade.
